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Why This Night is Different

In Literature, Personal Interest, Spring 2012 on July 18, 2012 at 2:36 am

By Shani Chabansky

The congestion got to her consciousness first. Then came the afternoon sun, staring at her through the slats of the venetian blinds she’d forgotten to shut before her afternoon nap. When she reached for the clock on her nightstand, she felt the sweat that had seeped through her clothes and onto her bed sheets. 5:00 p.m. Sophie Reznik still couldn’t breathe through her nose, but the lack of tension in her neck and shoulders and the ease with which she could move her limbs told her that the fever had broken.

“Soph, are you awake? I need your help in the kitchen!” Her mother had been bustling about all week long, preparing for the seder. Watching her multitask was like watching a professional circus clown, juggling her zillions of post-it notes and to-do lists.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute!”

Wading through the mountain of used Kleenex, damp pajamas, and piles of half-highlighted social theory articles ripped unceremoniously from school readers, she tossed on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and shuffled into the kitchen.

The pre-Pesach preparations dance began. There is no professional choreographer in the world who could match the elegance of a mother and daughter symbiotically concocting a meal. It was pure telepathy, the way they skirted around each other like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.

In many ways it was sure to be a typical seder, nothing special. It would be just as anxiety-inducing and potentially explosive as the years before. The subjects of tonight’s arguments would be the only variable to set this seder apart. It was her stepfather’s first Passover experience, as her grandmother would be sure to mention. Although she claimed that she’d made peace with her daughter’s newly acquired Italian husband, Bubbe’s subtle little comments about the “unconventional” relationship gave her true feelings away. And then there’d be her father, who was quite the character himself—an Israeli, obsessed with the high-tech industry in Silicon Valley. He was sure to bring his latest toy, this time a tiny digital video camera to record the evening and share with the chevrei in Ramat Gan. And then there’d be Rosa, Sophie’s first girlfriend.

The doorbell interrupted their trance-like preparations.

“Hello?” A septum-pierced nose followed by a pair of brown eyes peered around the door.

“Hey!” Sophie said. “Mom, I’d like you to meet Rosa.”

When she came out to her parents back in high school, she didn’t have any proof to support her claim that she was a lesbian. As much as she enjoyed the bi-curiosity of the girls in the drama department, an actual lesbian relationship seemed as impossible as acceptance into a Haredi community. But during her first quarter at UC Berkeley, she enrolled in FMST 1: Introduction to Feminist Studies, and that’s where she met Rosa. When she informed her parents that she would be accompanied by her first girlfriend at the seder, they supported her (albeit with raised eyebrows and tones tinged with skepticism).

More than anyone, it was Bubbe’s reaction to Rosa that Sophie was concerned about. Radical in all senses of the word, Bubbe was the kind of grandma your friends envy, while you’re stuck coping. Sure, her noodle kugel made Sophie’s house the high school hang-out spot and, once in a while, the old jewelry she gave Sophie for birthday presents would come back into fashion. But somehow, dinner conversations with Bubbe always involved a half-hearted attempt to avoid anything remotely controversial, the inevitable slip, and then the plunge into the political whirlpool (no snorkels involved).

She could just imagine the dinner conversation unfolding. Her father would inevitably tell the story of when his mother bought a live carp and kept it in their bathtub for a few days before the seder. He and his sister grew attached to the fish, then were forced to witness the death of their pet when their mother turned the carp into gefilte. Bubbe would be white-knuckling her walker while Sophie and Rosa discussed the prison industrial complex. Having had enough, Bubbe would open up the floodgates, arguing that, in fact, slavery is a thing of the past and that, in fact, the United States is a post-racial society. What do undocumented workers in Los Angeles have anything to do with Moses and the burning bush?

“Let’s turn now to the first page and begin with the kadesh,” her mother announced.

Sophie grabbed Rosa’s hand underneath the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. The first cup of wine, as always, went down silently. Sophie wondered why they always sang “Ma Nishtana” before they were sufficiently sloshed. By the time they’d downed the second cup, Sophie’s congestion came back with a vengeance and her patience for Bubbe’s wisecracks started waning.

“Well, I’d ask you when I can expect grandchildren, but now that you’re lesbian, things are different…”

“You want different?” Sophie exploded, blowing a wad of phlegm into her napkin and tossing back her second second cup. “I’ll give you different! How about the difference between an egalitarian, agrarian society and a colonialist, capitalist enterprise? You wanna talk differences? How about the differences between a progressive Judaism driven by social justice and a conservative Judaism blinded by faith?”

“Progressive Judaism? You’d be happier in a Marxist system where, as we all know, Jews are treated with the utmost respect,” Bubbe sarcastically spat. “I’m sorry to say, sweetie, that you should get a life and step outside your crazy leftist echo chamber.”

Banot…” her father interjected. “We haven’t even hidden the afikoman yet! Nu? What’s with the pause? Save the fireworks for the dinner. Yalla!”

“What’s the point of finding the afikoman? I know what’s coming. What’s the prize this year, a new freaking iPhone?” Sophie demanded. Rosa squeezed her hand under the table and Sophie sighed. “Okay, okay. What’s next? The Four Sons?”

“Let’s see, let’s skip ahead to the plagues,” her mother

finally spoke up. “Let’s start with dam, sephardaya, kinim…”

They managed to get through the first half of the seder without any further interruption. Well past midnight, Sophie toyed with the half-eaten macaroon on her plate. Between the wine and the fever that was claiming her mind, it was getting extremely difficult to recall the lyrics to “Chad Gadya.” Bubbe was nodding off into her Nescafe. She looked across the table and found her

mother’s gaze.

“Well, I guess it’s about that time, folks,” said her mother. “Don’t worry about the dishes, just leave everything where it is.”

Sophie walked around the table and touched Bubbe lightly on her shoulder. “Hey Bubbe, it’s time to get up. The seder’s over.”

“What’s that? Oh, thanks Soph. You’re a good girl,”

Bubbe said.

“Thanks, Bubbe.” Sophie helped her out of her chair, called a taxi, and waited with her in the living room.

“I think we forgot to let Elijah in,” Sophie murmured. The prophet’s absence was the least political thought she could muster up. She hoped Bubbe’s exhaustion would prevent another

argument.

“Serves him right,” Bubbe replied. “Seventy-five seders and not once have I seen the guy lift a finger around the house.”

Outside, the taxi honked. Sophie helped Bubbe into the car.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take home any haroset?”

“No, no. I’ll be fine. Thank you, sweetheart.”

Lyla tov, Bubbe.”

“Good night, Sophie.”

Published on page 11 of the Spring 2012 issue of Leviathan.

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The Ten Trials of Abraham

In Fall 2011 Issue, Literature, Multimedia, Poetry on November 25, 2011 at 5:13 am

By Karina Garcia

Illustrated by Karin Gold

Click to enlarge

The Ten Trials of Abraham - page 1

The Ten Trials of Abraham - page 2

The Ten Trials of Abraham - page 3

The Ten Trials of Abraham - page 4

The Ten Trials of Abraham - page 5

Published on page 31 of the Fall 2011 issue of Leviathan.

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Poetry

In Fall 2011 Issue, Literature, Poetry on November 25, 2011 at 3:18 am

By Robin Liepman

I’m not going to be able to pull this off (attempts to pull off face…)
It’s unstable, strange, and I can’t seem to find the purpose.
But I’m stuck with it. It wraps around me constantly,
producing unsettling and alarming noises from the wacky bagpipe dangling from a one-way window
peering into the void until realizing that voidness is your own emptiness
and the swirling blizzard of the cosmos resides within
consistently blotting its escape to rein with the grand outer stars of space,
…I’m not going to be able to pull this off…
Because when we squeeze together as close as humanly possible, there is still an impasse, and as our eyes infinitely reflect each other’s shimmer back and forth, we try as hard as possible to merge our souls,
like two eggs waiting to be cracked and mixed together for cake batter,
but the dance towards union is only possible with this rubbery costume to navigate, move and jive in,
So… I don’t think I’m going to be able to pull this off…
For there are billions of amorphous colonies of bundles of trillions of cells, bouncing around and off of each other,
spinning tops on the table of the universe, spun near the edge, threatening to fall off the tippy top,
and that oceanic motion swirling and crashing and flowing back in
pushes and pulls at my every ligament,
stretching my stomach to the Earth, my heart to the Ocean, my legs to Asia and my head to the Middle East
So… I’m all discombobulated and definitely incapable of pulling this off…
Well, without this fleshy gangly jumble of gooey chords and bulbous processing systems,
I wouldn’t be able to try, for there would be nothing to pull off.
There would be no dancing, no struggle, no questioning, no words,
though I wouldn’t suffer, I also wouldn’t experience the feeling of being overcome with joy, eyes watering from complete awe and bliss with the one song universe,
being one individual while being one with the cosmos
consecutively united and autonomous, my ideal community.
So… maybe I don’t want to pull this off.
[[Written at a meeting this morning]]

Alexandria Grace Vickery

Waking Up to Life
A dewey dawn day, rising chest stretched up to sunny sky,
portruding into the infinite, bursting beyond bright breaches,
casting cool shallow shadows upon the crevices of the
cosmos.
I caress the crevices of the cosmos,
circumnavigate the collision between you and I,
because when our stars burst together,
“there is no telling where you end and I begin.”
Endlessly looping,
swirling and swooping,
wopping, wooping,
hopping and hooting.
You bring me the joy of one thousand oranges,
bouncing upon beautiful bundles of blueberries.
My connections are strings, so I sew nets with my movements,
gracefully weaving webs and humming birdsongs
while roaring like lions and howling as a wolf.
I am constantly waking up more and more to life.
Thank you brain, eyes, heart, spirit, soul, and the whole.
We are whole, you are the One. Don’t you forget, but it’s fun to pretend.
[[Written on a very delightful morning]]

Published on page 50 of the Fall 2011 issue of Leviathan.

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Golem Dreams

In Literature, Spring 2011 Issue on May 21, 2011 at 12:42 am

By Megan Susman

I dreamt of a golem, once.

In the pre-dawn light, spires of a skeletal city rose above my head, the wind shrieking through gaps of tortured metal and crumbled concrete. On empty streets, roots burst through asphalt and clung to deflated tires. The world sparkled with broken glass. I was alone. Or rather, I was nearly alone. Sparrows flitted through half-opened windows and bowed acacia trees, mice climbed along distended rainspouts, and a lone tomcat watched me from the gum-stained sidewalk. My breath came ragged and fast. All of man’s creations were lost to the wild patience of nature. Read the rest of this entry »

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Trash

In Literature, Spring 2011 Issue on May 21, 2011 at 12:14 am

By Nate Rogers

Ethan Morris opened his eyes. Looking down at the progress of the sun’s assault up his legs, Ethan instantly knew how badly he had overslept. This thought was quickly dismissed with the recognition of a blaring alarm. Ethan leaned over and put the anxious clock out of its misery. Squinting through bloodshot eyes, he moaned with the realization of missing his route. It was Tuesday, too. The Westfield route: the wealthiest neighborhood in Pilgrimage. They always had the most trash to pick up. Obsolete appliances riddled the gutters next to their well-manicured lawns. Every goddamn week. Always a pain in the ass. Certainly not a day to miss. Read the rest of this entry »

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A Jewish Mother’s Prayer

In Jewish Culture, Literature, Spring 2011 Issue on May 21, 2011 at 12:11 am

By Megan Susman

Blessed are You, Adonai our God, King of the Universe. Thank You for the blessing of my children, who are now out of the house and attending a real UC, praised be You. Thank You for giving them ten fingers and ten toes, arms that carry, and legs that walk. Thank you for their eyes and their full sets of teeth. Thank you for ophthalmologists and dentists. Blessed are You. Read the rest of this entry »

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Yom Kippur

In Literature, Winter 2011 Issue on May 20, 2011 at 10:03 pm

By Nate Rogers

“Goddamit, Frank! Wake the fuck up!”
“Huh?”
“I said, wake up and leave or I will make you leave.”
“Jeez, take it easy. I was having the most wonderful dream…”
“You say that every time this happens, Frank. You’re so wasted I wonder if you even have the capacity to dream anymore. Now get out.”
I stand up, trying my best to look as unsteady as possible. Yes, fall on the stool next to you, Frank. Put your coat on slowly. Don’t look Victor in the eye. You’re a good liar until you look somebody in the eye. Out you go, Frankie. Don’t look back.
“Wait, Frank! You have to pay your bill…” Victor’s voice trailed off. Almost as if he felt bad asking from an old friend. I capitalize on the hesitation.
“Oh, that’s ok, Victor. We can have lunch tomorrow!” Making the final movement out the door, I enter a slow trot to the right down Wilshire. I intended to run down 11th Street too, but I was winded. Now I understand why you’ll never see fat, old lions on nature shows. Or fat, old deer, for that matter. They shouldn’t survive. I shouldn’t have survived this long. The only animals in the wild that get fat and old are pigeons and rats—city scum. No wonder they like my house so much. Read the rest of this entry »

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The Bicycle Tree

In Literature, Winter 2011 Issue on May 20, 2011 at 9:44 pm

By Catie Damon

The couple leaned forward against the cold metal railing and smiled, lips cracked open from the salty air. Below them read, “Issaquah Ferry” in thick, forest green cursive letters. High-pitched notes pierced the wind above the engine’s drone and the girl turned around to find an old man sitting cross-legged, guitar in lap. A small white rabbit was perched atop his head, eyes tightly closed and ears swept back. Its neck was tucked into its body to bolster itself from the wind. In front of the pair, a guitar case lay open with a few crumpled bills scattered across maroon crushed velvet. The man’s smoker’s voice seeped through his yellowed teeth under a horsehair mustache. The girl watched the red, paunchy fingertips press deeply into the strings.

“Did you train him to stay with you?” The girl asked when the singing stopped.

“He likes it up there, it’s the warmest spot, where all the heat escapes. Didn’t have to do a thing, he found it himself.” Read the rest of this entry »

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